One of my senior office colleague keeps bugging me by talking non-work related and personal questions that embarrass me like when are you getting married, why don’t you go and find girls at this pub, what kind of girls do you like, etc. since last 2-3 weeks. Just today he and another guy teamed up and surrounded me after office hours within office premises and nailed me asking me very personal ques like tell us the date when you are getting married, will you gift her Victoria Secrets stuff and few minutes later a girl colleague also teamed with them and they started some sexual questions – I immediately left then for home. They had crossed their limit today.
I can’t talk this to my manager or their manager coz. I don’t have evidence and they won’t take any action other than warning – warning them won’t take away my anguish I went through today – is there a way to find evidence and then lodge an official complaint on lines of harassment and/or sexual harassment? I have spoken to the first guy many many times not to trouble me but he never listened and today these 3 stopped my way and didn’t let me pass to the exit and asked the embarrassing questions. Only serious replies please.



that’s atrocious! you poor thing, i can imagine how horrible you are feeling.
the easy option would be to find a new job, but that won’t make you feel any better, running away without trying to change the situation will only make it worse. so i suggest that you dob them in and file a serious complaint. if the manager tries to brush you off, persist. tell them straight out that you felt bullied and harassed, that their behaviour was totally inappropriate and unprofessional and you want to make a formal complaint in writing (have this prepared before you go in tomorrow).
what they did was horrible and you shouldn’t let them get away with it. if you do, it will happen to someone else and they might not be as strong as you. so if it were me i would write it all down and make it formal. include that you have had problems with one of the guys in the past and have asked him to stop, that it happened in the office after work hours, exactly what happened, what you were doing, things that they said, things that you said and how you tried to walk away but were blocked. it’s just horrific what they did. so make it a formal complaint, go to your manager and tell them you want the other peoples manager to be made aware of this too.
you are right, they will probably just get a warning. but if you make a formal complaint and it happens again you can demand that they be fired, you can sue or at least threaten to sue, you can call tell the police about it and make a formal complaint with them and press charges. by making a formal complaint this time, even though they will get a second chance it means that if it happens again you can throw the whole book at them- work, police, legal action. this puts you in a position of power and bullies like this don’t expect to be told off.
for the next few days i suggest you leave the office straight away after work, if one of them stops you to speak about it just say if you have a problem tell management. if they say no i want to talk about it with you say that you are not going to speak about it with them, they behaved unprofessionally then and they are being unprofessional now, if they have a problem tell management about it. that will shut them down, it’s not what they will expect, they will expect you to be scared of confrontation because they are bullies and they think they can manipulate you, so don’t let them. good luck
EDIT: forgot to mention, you don’t need proof, your saying that you were bullied is enough for your boss to have to take some sort of action. and chances are that when they are aproached they will admit to the confrontation anyway, maybe not to the extent you tell them about, but any admition will probably be enough. also, does your office have security cameras or was anyone else around? as i said, it doesn’t really matter, your saying something happened will be enough for some action to be taken
That is harassment. You don’t have to have proof, and if they keep doing it after being warned, continue lodging complaints, going as high up the management ladder as you have to. If it comes down to it, seek an attorney.