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New Poem…? Please Edit!?

Apple
————-
A beautiful ruby.
Sweet, sticky juice
between my fingers.
A reddish-yellow.
Globed, lumpy contours in the palm of my
outstretched hand.
A tangy, sugared meat
to grace the taste buds
on my tongue.
So easily destroyed.
The life, sweet liquid
flattened to the earth by machines
could care less about the fruit
so bittersweetly perfect
mangled in the mud.
All spaces are meant to be there thanks!

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  1. RAWR Jun 9th, 2010 @ 10:33 | #1

    im not quite sure…
    flattened to earth by machines- i like this idea i think you should work on using more about this… to me it says your observing fruit that is beautiful but is being destroyed by man… i also think you should go into more detail about the fruit- i should be able to see it as im reading it

  2. Insulated Ego-stated Jun 9th, 2010 @ 11:41 | #2

    A tangy, sugary meat
    to satiate taste buds
    on my tongue.
    So easily murdered.
    The life, sweet liquid
    flattened to Earth and wasted by
    mindless machines, senseless
    about the fruit so bittersweetly perfect
    collaterally mangled in mud.

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