Ok.
It’s not been diagnosed yet but I am certain I have it upon reading the symptoms and relating to all of them. It also explains ALOT about my life. I generally feel depression while rarely having hypomanic days/weeks.
To date I have only felt hypomania for more than a day or two while in a relationship (I would love to feel hypomania more often then depression). So my life pretty much revolves around finding a girlfriend. This is made difficult due to my expectations and high standards (I cant change this and I dont want to). It becomes extremely difficult to maintain a relationship in either mood – depressive or hypomanic.
It’s worth pointing out I am rarely in depression while in a relationship. While depressed they feel unloved due to my lack of motivation to see them, lack of happiness, pessimistic outlook on life and the fact that no matter how hard they try I will seek out and find something they’ve done and dwell on it and cause arguements over it. Also being in this state means I have low sex drive and self esteem.
While hypomanic I grow attached way too fast to them which usually isnt a good thing. I also have a loss of concentration meaning it looks like I’m not interested in what they have to say if it lasts more than 2 minutes or so. I have a huge sex drive not always towards my partner which frustrates me and makes me question the relationship’s worth to me (although I would never cheat and I doubt I would leave someone due to sexual frustration). Another thing which makes relationships hard in this state is my irritability – it usually takes alot to anger me but sometimes in hypomania it builds up extremely fast which leads to me usually regretting saying something minutes after.
I sound like a horrible person to be in a relationship with right now aha but I do have my good points which I admire about myself.
I haven’t found a girl I wont try past my limits for yet. I think about them every minute of everyday in some way. I’m extremely faithful when commited to someone and will defend them even if they’re wrong. I genuinely feel strongly for them when I say I do. I guess it’s un-manly but I look forward to the little things like holding hands.
So in conclusion I have 3 questions
Should I stop looking for relationships as they seem to trigger both hypomania (during the relationship) and depression (after the relationship)?
How do I go about maintaining a relationship?
Will telling any future partners about my disorder help at all or will it likely terminate the relationship?
Bipolar Disorder Ruins My Relationships So What Do I Do?
By WinPie Posted in: Uncategorized
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You honestly don’t sound bipolar to me. Hypomanic episodes do not last a day or two, they last for at least a week, maybe 4-5 days at the very least. You describe yourself as feeling “hypomanic” for no more than a day or two, which does not constitute a hypomanic episode. You also said that you only have these episodes while you are in a relationship. This makes me think that your elevated mood is related to being in a relationship and feeling loved, needed, and important due to that relationship, not because you have an organic mood disorder.
It does sound like you have relationship issues with other people as far as becoming attached too quickly, needing a relationship to validate yourself and keep your mood up, etc. You said that you become depressed when you aren’t in a relationship which leads to low mood, low self esteem, etc. That sounds more like you are the kind of person who does not feel valid or important unless you are in a relationship, which is why you actively seek them out. Bipolar disorder does not “respond” to relationships like that – that is, the fact that your mood changes in response to a specific stimulus (being in a relationship vs. not being in one) would not indicate bipolar disorder.
So to answer your three questions…
1. No, I do not think you should stop looking for relationships. But I do think you should really sit down and ask yourself WHY you feel the need to be in a relationship to validate yourself, and why your mood hinges on being in a relationship with someone else. I think it’s important that you learn how to be happy and productive without being in a relationship, rather than actively seeking one out because your mood is so reactive to whether or not you are in one. Your relationships will be a lot healthier if you know how to be a happy, productive person while single, instead of relying on being in a relationship for that to happen.
2. How do you go about maintaining a relationship? That’s something you have to figure out as you go along. You have to be mature, communicate openly with your partner, and take things as they come. There is no fool-proof step by step guide as to how to maintain a relationship. Every relationship is different, but in general there needs to be open communication, maturity on both parties’ parts, respect, honesty, generosity, things like that.
3. I think you should talk to a psychiatrist or psychologist about your supposed “disorder” before you worry about telling any future partners. If you do end up being diagnosed with something, then it is up to you if and when you disclose that information to them. Bipolar disorder ends a lot of relationships, I won’t lie. It is not something you want to have.
Hope that helps. Good luck!
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